We do not expect our son to beg

We must learn to get out of these clutches and, what should I say, the lies that have been forced upon us through religious teachings. All religions all over the world - they are teaching us the same thing. God is not here, please pray on your knees, humble yourself. I mean a mere father doesn't want his son coming grovelling to him on his knees and say, "Daddy can I have a couple of bucks." He would say, "Who the hell are you! Are you my son? Come on, get up, stand up on your two damn feet, man?" Wouldn't you say it? I would not like my son grovelling before me in the dust and beating his chest, with ashes on his forehead. Would you do it? So how do you think God will like your grovelling in the dust and beating your breast, and wailing? He wants us coming erect with our head held up and saying, "I am your son. Whatever I am, I am that."

A son has this place in this home; this home is mine because it is my father's. I don't have to grovel and have doors opened to me by priests whom I have to bribe. I don't have to buy a lot in some graveyard to be buried in. What for? 

Fear?

quick thought, in most cases, is it the unknown that is fear?
and when we meet the unknown -  therein it adds the flavour of knowledge? or can we call it knowledge itself?
does that explain y for a child, there is a quality change, before and after he touches a hot vessal?
before he touches for the first time - its the fear parents put into him. once he touches it the quality changes? it has more of a knowledge flavour to it?
does this explain why we use the common term - raise up to the occasion?
at times when in our normal sense - we absolutely cant imagine facing a catastropy, but once we meet it, we might raise up to it.

i had read that intense fear itself liberates, the mind reaches the no mind zone. guess some masters have explained this - something like seeing the vishwaroopa effect and the beholder is like becoming a point - nothing else exists in him - expect the witness.

another aspect of fear is the break in continuity is what we dread. human mind thrives on continuity and any break to the continuity is a cause of fear for him. it may be his money,relation, health, life, status in society, power, his

also interesting read was, that an experience by itself is less damaging to the subconscious mind. An experience attached with an emotion is what lingers on in the subconscious. Breaking this bond between the experience and emotion  - unburdens us.
for eg, a company worker touching a hot furnance vs the supervisor punishing him with the same act of touching.

Exercise to willpower

Exercise is the obvious ticket to physiological toughness, but it's also a building block to overall hardiness. A Princeton University study found that rats that exercise generate new neurons that are less responsive to stress hormones, for instance.

Lilly Mujica-Parodi, director of the Laboratory for the Study of Emotion and Cognition at Stony Brook University, tested the heart rates and hormone levels of novice skydivers before, during, and after their first plunge. She found that skydivers with a higher percentage of body fat took longer to return from elevated stress-hormone levels and performed worse on tests of mental ability. "Not only does physical fitness produce stress resilience," she says, "but fit individuals are better able to preserve their cognitive functions."

Success is your personal responsibility

Achievement motivated individuals tend to believe that initiative, effort, and persistence are key determinants of success at demanding tasks. Failure-avoiding individuals are more likely to view success as dependent on available resources and situational constraints (e.g. the task is too hard, or the marker was biased)

Achievement motivated individuals are inclined to believe that continued effort and commitment will overcome initial obstacles or failures. Failure-avoiding individuals are inclined to see initial failure as a sign of things to come

Foods help Willpower

To exert willpower, the brain uses a chemical known as glucose.

When the body takes in food, it turns some of that food into glucose which is sent throughout the blood stream. 20% of the body's glucose goes to the brain, which it uses to think, communicate and, yes, exert willpower.

All foods create glucose, but not all glucose fuels your willpower as effectively.

High-glycemic foods, like the ones Grover prohibits, cause your blood sugar to spike. That gives your brain a quick boost of willpower. But it is shortly followed by an extreme drop in blood sugar, which causes a "willpower crash".

Grover's athletes can keep going because their low-glycemic diet provides a steady stream of glucose to the brain. They are able to persevere through their workouts because their willpower is being constantly fueled.

To get the most willpower out of your diet follow these guidelines:

    No sugar. Especially sugar that is artificially added to foods during processing.
    No dairy. Milk, cheese, yogurt, everything. Because the lactose in that food will lead to the spike and crash effect.
    No breads. The grains are processed into sugar by your body.
    No junk. Any sort of processed food will likely be high-glycemic due to high-fructose corn syrup.
    Yes lean proteins. This includes cuts of beef, poultry, pork, fish and free-range eggs.
    Yes nuts. Specifically those nuts that are high in omega-3 fatty acids like walnuts, pecans and cashews.
    Yes vegetables. All vegetables will help build your long-term willpower, so choose your favorites!
    Yes fresh fruit. Fruits do have more sugar than others, but many fruits like berries and avocados are still low-glycemic – even though they have sugar.  Fresh fruit is preferred over dried because dried fruits have a higher concentration of sugar in them.

Parenting

3 unbelievably simple parenting ideas that work

1. Children need a minimum of eight  touches during a day to feel connected to a parent.

If they’re going through a particularly challenging time, it’s a minimum of 12 a day. This doesn’t have to be a big deal; it could be the straightening of a collar, a pat on the shoulder or a simple hug.

2. Each day, children need one meaningful eye-to-eye conversation with a parent.

It is especially important for babies to have that eye contact, but children of all ages need us to slow down and look them in the eyes.

3. There are nine minutes during the day that have the greatest impact on a child:

the first three minutes right after they wake up
the three minutes after they come home from school
the last three minutes of the day before they go to bed
We need to make those moments special and help our children feel loved.
These are simple, right? Nothing really earth-shattering here.

Try it.
1⃣ Whenever u feel like scolding or beating your child, take a deep breath, or count 1-10 and then act.
2⃣ Let's ask them to study their favorite subject on their own..
3⃣ Send them to one exam without studying at all..
4⃣ Remember what our kids are learning in 5th std is taught to 7th std abroad..
5⃣ Lets keep our kids out of unwanted competition.
6⃣ 80% of what kids are learning ,won't be useful to them in future..
7⃣ Our kids can really afford to do whatever they want to do in future .
8⃣ Higher degrees don't guaranty success and happiness..
9⃣ Not all the highly educated people do well professionally.
And not all who do well professionally are the happiest ones..
🔟 Kids are always in a party mood.. don't spoil their childhood. Support and let them be what they want to be. 👍😃

The problem $ 50 billion could not Wipeout

Again talking about perspectives, which always are interesting I was gathering data on top 10 philanthropy contributions in America alone:
http://www.forbes.com/top-givers/
I hope not to contradict or prove anyone or anything wrong or right. The other side of this will also be analyzed.
I found out that it was in the range of  $ 89 billion   and that is 59,48,97,80,50,000.00 Indian Rupee.
This was a rough summing up, please do correct me if otherwise.
Now considering this - the population of the world is just 7 billion.

Now this was given by the generous souls in their life time meaning the good work helping the needy had been going on for 20 years atleast?

Let us get a bit generous and give them another 10 years, which by current disruption age is huge. Whatsapp valued itself at $ 6.8 billion in 5 years.
Now thats a huge amount Rs. 59,48,97,80,50,000.00 and time - 30 years. Can we say that there would no longer be any poor & needy people in 2025?

This, am analyzing just top 10 givers of US. We then have lakhs of them across US and further down across the world? Would philanthropy be atleast $100 billion for last 20 years?

Now consider this, we know there are rich helping the poor and needy, would it be possible that is the case for last 100 years?

Winners?

I think there’s a difference between successful and unsuccessful people in the way they particularly think about approaching something new. I think unsuccessful people, when they have a big dream and start thinking about what’s going to be required to accomplish that dream, they get very limiting in their beliefs about themselves and what’s possible.

They say three types of things specifically… I don’t know how to do that. So they stop. I don’t have those things. I’m not like those people. So they stop. I’m not like that. So they stop.

Successful people have a different way. They have the same thing. Everybody dreams. You dream, I dream, successful people dream. Everybody dreams and has a vision.

Whereas, successful that people say I want to do that but I don’t know how and instead of stopping they say, then my job is to go learn that. They take their current limitation and put it on their agenda as a job to do, as a thing to figure out and make happen. Instead of saying, I don’t have that. They say then my job is to go build that. Or, I’m not like that than they say my job is to go become more of that, become that person who could accomplish those things.

Depart from the noise above

As meditation progress feel detached but aware of your thoughts. They become like the rivers where, on the surface there remains a strong flow of currents. But as you dive deep and deep the under current reduces. The silence increases more and more. But as you look up the current remains, the fallen leaves and unwanted things still keep tossing around, flowing. Go deeper within and remain observant of the silence getting deeper and deeper. The surface still would have thoughts flowing which doest not affect.

Fear

When we take analysis of Fear one step inside - Existence of Fear is because of the gap between 'What is' and 'What will be'. If the 'What will be' is something you 'Don't want' then it 'could' end up labeled Fear. If 'What will be' is something you 'Want' , then it is labeled Hope.

So it is interesting to note that the bridge between the two states is what causes a situation to be Fear vs Hope. So your selection of 'Want' vs 'Dont want' is what causes the same situation to become Fear for one and Hope for other.

Now if we take this one more step inside & forget the bridge - Fear exists because of the existence of the two states - 'What is' and 'What will be'. As long as you do move from the 'What is' state - you would not have fear.

So this explains why enlightened individuals might not feel fear at all. They are forever in the 'What is' state? So Fear has one meaning - You still have subjected yourself to two states of mind.

Decisions takes a toll

To the earlier message on focus, its scientifically proven, the lesser decisions you take, the more willpower you have,
which translates to achieving our goals.

https://youtu.be/WhbYBb0huMs
"Make fewer decisions. The more decisions we make, the more fatigued our brain becomes and the less effective we are over the long-term. So, first, stop browsing so much! Mindlessly browsing consumes incredible amounts of brainpower; every new link and every new piece of information to pay attention to eats up your mental energy and reserves. It costs you not only your focus, but your willpower and futurefocal power as well. If you’re looking for something, search for ONE thing, find it… and then stop. Limit your browsing and get back your brain."

And decisions are at every moment of life:
-  When you browse hours on flipkart, amazon etc on what to buy, it eats up your willpower.
-  when you browse news articles,  on which to read or give attention to.
-  when you have a conflict with a relationship and argue within yourself, right - wrong, say - not to say. It just burns willpower  up.
-  when you spend 10min deciding what to wear to work, to marriage.
-  when you decide what to cook each day.
-  when you decide, to overtake or not in traffic.
-  when you decide, to respond to any whatsapp message or not.
-  when you keep checking the phone for new messages. Is there a new one for me to respond?
Self help gurus say - if you are one who is not stuck in situations like these, chances are you can be an achiever.
Pay Attention to all decision making moments of life and keep it to the least time.

In-laws! Defnitely a wrong finding

In-laws is a wrong word used. In fact it should have been Out-laws ie if we were to coin 'In' as a positive vibe and 'Out' as negative. I live in this society for the past 39 years, I base this observation from this, I see quite a few in-laws to in-laws relationship behave like out-laws.
There is always an unwritten thought process - post 'Marriage' ie of the - your family vs my family demarcation. The degrees vary:
You spend all your money for your family.
You spend more time for them than me.
You have not helped my brother vs you helped your brother.
Your brother does not help in kitchen vs you help in kitchen.

We have no privacy because of your in laws and so on.

So I guess 'In-laws' should be renamed as 'Out-laws'?